4 am

So it is currently 4:30 in the morning-I have been wide awake for an hour.  I am still going to bed at my usual 9pm because I am exhausted, but I just can't seem to sleep through the night.  Combination of excitement, nerves and hunger are keeping me awake.  I keep running through my posing routines in my head.  I really wish I could sleep more-since though I'm up-I'm not functionally awake, in fact I am quickly transitioning into full out zombie mode.  Maybe once this first show is done I'll feel more confident and sleep more peacefully.

Show Week #1

I am so pumped up and feel absolutely amazing!!

I spent Saturday with Pamela Fitzgerald (of A Helathy Fit) working on my posing routines for 2 hrs.  So much fun!!! Unfortunately it was harsh on my lower back-but I got a nice massage from hubby and we will carry on.

I am crazy determined to see significant improvements in my legs between now and show #2 (on the 27th).  So today I started off with a bodyweight only-bootcamp style circuit for 1 hour.  Later in the morning (between rain showers) I did a 10K trail run-love these :)  And finally finished the day with my weight circuit and more posing practice at the gym with Suzanne (a fellow competitior this Saturday).  She is doing her first show in the Master's Athletic Category and looks awesome!!!

The diet hasn't been bothering me at all the last few days-so fingers crossed I stay strong this week to really hit the cardio!

Posing Class

I am always so nervous when I attend these classes.  I always assume I am going to be the "fat kid" who doesn't look ready to step on stage.  Well, last night proved to be different.  Most of the girls there were novices (this was going to be their first show) and in the exact same condition as me-for the most part.  This of course made me feel more confident. (They are shooting for a show the week after mine, but still we were close.) 

What really boosted my confidence though was the ease with which I hit all my poses.  Being around so many beginners made me realize that I really do know what I'm doing-at least in terms of stage presentation :)  My abs were popping like an action figure, and my V-Taper was the best in the room.  The coolest thing was when the other girl's commented that I looked "normal" while we were sitting and chatting BUT that my whole physique changed the second I hit my poses.  That is supremely complimentary IMO!!!!

23...

Very, very, very bad neuralgia (spelling?) pain.  My face feels like it is on fire and I can barely open my mouth to speak.  Not a good condition for a teacher.  Definitely too much pain for the lovely hour of cardio I had planned for this evening.  Couch and TV is about all I can manage tonight.  Thank god for a long weekend becasue it looks as though I will be spending some extra time on the Stepmill.

24 Days til Mayham

Currently "kicked out" of my house, for a showing.  Maybe this will be the one ;)  I typically have not been doing weeknight showings because it is just to hectic with my training, the dog and work, but I caved on this one, because they were really persuassive.  So, puppy and I have been transplanted to my father's house-where I eat more leftovers out of tupperware instead of being able to enjoy the one meal I can actually cook fresh for myself.  Yeah, I know, suck it up.

Today has been odd, in that yesterday I told my lovely trainers that I felt I needed to turn it up a notch because despite eating minimal carbs and doing all the prescribed training I still felt great-and I remembered prep to feel much more grueling and exhausting.  Well lo and behold-I am shattered today.  Everything is an effort, I can't focus and I am stiff and sore.  The one bright spot where I was coherent,thankfully was the hour-long posing session I had with my choreographer sister, tweaking my presentation.  Fun and productive.  But now I am more sore.  I am very glad tomorrow is a cardio only day :)  And then a long weekend. Woo Hoo.  Which  of course, for me means more time I can spend doing cardio!!!

25 days to Mayham

I seem to be on an emotional rollercoaster of self-doubt.  One minute I am really proud of my progress: abs look good, tummy is flat,biceps are more full, triceps are starting to pop!!  But then I realize how much further I still have to go (particularly in my legs) and I start to doubt.

Emailed with the trainers and they are sooo right-I need to stay positive and consistent.  I am strong!  My ass looks fab-o in real life-probably the best it's ever looked, even if that is not the best on stage it is pretty spectacular for me, and I need to acknowledge that I am happy with :)  Consistancy actually hasn't been an issue for me this time around-but I need to keep at it, NO SELF SABOTAGE!  I am totally capable of rocking this thing.  I will not disappoitn myself or anyone else :)

THE dreams...

Bad nights sleep,as a result of having THE competition dreams.  It's show time but I don't have a suit, or my physique is not at all lean,or no tan ect...was pretty anxious all night too about getting up early to be at the gym right when it opened at 5:30, so I could workout and return home, shower, eat and drive hubby and the dog to their respective "homes" for the day before work.  I of course fit it all in,but I'm pretty damn tired,and felt less than stellar all day.

I did find some old journals and it turns out this the weight I was last time with 4 weeks to go.  The better news is that I know right now Iam carrying that weight with much more muscle mass-so hooray!!

Unfortunately now I am also battling a resurgence of my neuralgia (brought on from the still healing jaw of my facial recostruction from 2 years ago).  I have not experienced any pain for a 4 months-and today out the blue BAM!! Agony, hopefully I'll wake up much more shiny tomorrow.